road test review
This thing runs like a chicken with the Colonel after it!
Not that I'm surprised. Mechanically, it's nearly identical to the Mustang 5.0 that I drove every day for over a decade, except for being 1000 lbs lighter and having essentially no exhaust system. And the fact that it's been messed with... apparently the donor Mustang was a breeding ground for modifications -- I don't blame Kyle for screwing that up; he just used what was there. He claims he's no engineer, but I see no glaring fault with any of his work, and the thing does feel relatively stable on the road. Heck, the fact that this crazy machine can withstand the abuse that he and his brother dish out, that speaks volumes.
The "driving" experience, if you can use that verb for what this car does, was a bit limited. My sweetie (intrepid soul) decided it would be fun to come along... even though I warned her that the experience would be very similar to Bill Cosby's description of "200 mph". (If you don't know that sketch, you owe it to yourself to spend 23 minutes now. [
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YotlNRCrFbQ] Yes, now. My tale will still be visible here when you return... assuming you've wiped the tears of laughter out of your eyes.)
Yep, his description is exactly what this car was like. Earplugs, vroom, launch, holy %$#@. Since it's prudent to learn a car's idiosyncrasies before pushing to the limits, I took things as gently as the car allows -- which isn't much. I distinctly remember that even a stock Mustang can be a bit difficult to launch smoothly, because the Ford clutch has a very narrow "slippage spot", so the leg has to remember with great precision. But for this one, I'm assuming it must be the BBK clutch quadrant that transforms the pedal into a binary control. Add a slightly sticky throttle and it roars to 2k at the tiniest provocation. All that together? One moment it's at a standstill, the next moment it has lurched 20 feet forward. When we got back, it made me feel a little better to see that Kyle had just as much trouble moving it across his driveway as I did.
After a half mile of very little drama (except for alerting all the neighbors of our presence), I realized the controls worked pretty well, it seemed to go where pointed and stop when asked, a couple of gentle pushes into part-throttle convinced me there would be plenty of excitement available, and my Sweetie said, "I hope you don't need to do that too many more times?" I said I haven't even really tried it out yet. She said she kinda wished it had headrests. Oops, forgot that
any change in velocity needs a warning. At the next red light, I contemplated suggesting she brace herself for the green, but God presented a different opinion. In my rearview, a fat-tired something (Crown Victoria?) with a pillar-mounted spotlight and a bumper pushbar came gliding up behind us. Can't tell if it's a civilian or an unmarked, but for sure, this isn't the best time to see if we can do wheelies.
But let's be honest, except when under the watchful eye of certain well-dressed personnel, the driver of a beast like this isn't going to care one whit about a gentle departure. In current condition, this car speaks to the inner teenager. (It would likely speak to the actual teenager, but therein lies the irony -- if you present a machine capable of really stupid things, the results are a foregone conclusion.) Or maybe it needs the macho dude who swaggers into every establishment announcing his arrival. Even the most mild-mannered folk need that ability once in a while, but every time? I dunno, I get much more of a giggle with the "walk softly and carry a big stick" approach.
About the only real "fault" I could find was the recirculating ball steering which is normally a delight. To me, it feels like someone adjusted the sector to try to reduce center slop and subsequently made the rest of the travel feel unbelievably tight. Navigation at parking lot speeds is an understandable challenge, but it should lighten up when rolling. This thing was a truck at any speed whatsoever. Actually, it was more like a truck missing a power steering belt. Worse than the Volvo manual rack in my Dad's old 240 at a standstill, which is saying a lot.
The cabin is pleasing, other than the doors which won't close unless you slam them like they owe you money, but that ought to be an easy adjustment. Seats don't slide well either, but same story, just needs TLC. Visibility is nice, plenty of head room, and as usual, all the ergonomics in a 60s car just feel "right". Window cranks work nicely, with a much more reasonable number of revolutions "lock to lock" than Volvo built into their 240 (which I recall might have been about 7. Didn't measure this one, but I'd guess more like 4. Nice to know that Volvo used to know how to build doors.) I'm impressed by the feel and look of the Volvo turn signal switch on the Ford column, especially with the added high beam function that I wasn't expecting that stalk to provide. I would need to reshape the trans tunnel a bit to make room for my wide toes, but that's been a predictable challenge most of my life.
It looks right. Did the rears originally have the chrome trim that the fronts have? If so, Are you planning to replace it to retain uber-sleeper status?
Sleeper... well... there is the whole thing about it being a foot wider than stock and having not a whole lot in the way of exhaust.
Prettying the car up goes against its very own principle.
All of that's true, for the current build path. Anyone who appreciates a Rat Rod ought to be very happy with this -- jump on it!
As for me, I would need to go a whole different direction -- I don't see how 1940s styling could blend in as a sleeper even if totally stock, but I'd certainly head toward that. I can't justify having a once-in-a-while car, so it needs to be something I would enjoy getting in every day. That's going to take a lot more work than I currently have time/space for. It'll have to wait until we've finished fixing the house and move in, at the very least. Even then, I'll need to decide if I'd be willing to trade my 30-yr-old daily driver for a 60-yr old DD. Strange that parts availability is probably better. The insane horsepower is an undeniable attraction, but having it behave nicely when not on the throttle, that's what makes the rest of the experience downright divine. There's clearly an opportunity to improve that, not to mention bring NVH more in line with a Volvo. I do wonder about the occupant safety, since I suspect this was made before Volvo started designing crumple zones. I suppose one could install a hidden roll cage... but perhaps that pushes the ridiculous envelope even further. Bumpers are of limited value in today's world when even the average Subaru Forester bumper is half a foot higher. The only real solution is to drive very, very carefully and paint it bright red.
Maybe my end result would be somewhere between these two shiny examples, but with slightly fatter tires? I dunno...
Or maybe it just needs to continue being the insane machine that it is, with an owner who relishes that. I'll be curious to see.
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yelled at 
that was its agreed value. 