How to convince others its not your mothers brick

[linuxman51]

... Or for that matter another dull grocery getter.

This one is rather tough..
As with everything else, YMMV.
The first problem we as volvo performance afficionados(sp) have to contend with is that, as a general rule, our cars look almost exactly like all the other volvos bombing around suburbia these days. Think about all the modded civics, if theres even the slightest change thats not *perfectly* tasteful they're dismissed as rice. Well guys, in case you're living in denial, same goes for us (cept its "Damn grocery getters" and not "Damn rice burners"). So how would you go about shedding this image? Another question you might ask is Why would you want to go about sheding this image, or why you might not want to shed the image.

I tend to march to the beat of my own drum, as anyone whos seen my car in person can very obviously tell, looks take a distant second to functionality. That is not to say I dont appreciate nor strive for a nice looking car, I'm just busier getting mine to a point where I can chuckle at c5's and such at stop lights. So theres one way to convince people that yours is not a particularly normal Bruno's bandit. Go beat the snot out of enough local people and you will soon find yourself victimless (lets face it, fast or not you're still kicking peoples asses in a volvo). That will get you single recognition, but generally doesn't do much for the collective at large because most volvo owners dont race, their cars aren't fast, and one volvo is no different from another right? (kinda like all hondas are the same to the non honda folk). So obviously a single car laying foolz out left and right can only achieve so much (right now I think i've got a decent amount of exposure in east alabama). Speed will come back into the discussion momentairly , but here's another way to set your volvo aside from the mortal masses.
Looks. Tinted windows, nice wheels, a bit lower and more agressive looking, perhaps that phatty exhaust tip, and any other personal tweaks you can think of. If yours doesnt look the same as all the other volvos, it must be special right? not just for school duty.. welll the tint could be to keep the car a little cooler, and the wheels are probably just the husband's midlife crisis manifested on the only car thats not a minivan they own. Hm. Didn't get that far with that one either. In that instance the best you can hope for is being known as the guy with the really clean volvo. Leading into point three:
Combine the two. Yes this makes things a bit more expensive (esp. if you can't do your own work) but you're trying to make a name for yourself and your car that doesnt scream Groccery getter. Such is the cost of playing.
So, now you've got a clean, quick volvo, the victims are thick and numerous, you're pulling mad chicks with the color cordinated window tint, buut 80% of the people driving by aren't going to know how fast your car is so that puts you back somewhere inbetween.
What to do, what to do... Ah, you gather a group of similar minded volvo people and then roll around en masse and show the world at large whats up (and watch about it on tv "In other news tonight, a group of volvos, calling them selves turbobrickers, whatever that means.. I suppose they're good at building walls, Descended on the city today...").
Still back by square one.
About the only things left at this point are getting a really racy paint job, and/or a different body kit... but in this day and age you'd just be refered to as "That dude with the volvo who mistook it for a honda" NOO!!

Sadly, for the most part this is the image we're stuck with, we might not have created it, but then, the average honda owner didnt create the rice boyz either. Only through media expouse and ultra cleanness are we going to be able to change public opinion on any kind of big scale.

[Captain Bondo]

Wow, I so I agree. Kenny's are Kenny's I suppose..
I agree that a clean car says a LOT. Go to the library and take out some books on auto detailing. Read them and learn to be anal about your car.
Did you open the gas door and clean all inside there last time you washed your car?

It's the little things that count. Here's some tips:

1)it's the little things that count. learn to see them.

2)Go buy Meguiar's Plast-X and Scratch-X, cleaner wax, and silver and black (semi-gloss, or "trim black" paint from wherever you buy car stuff. Wash the car, dry it, and polish the whole thing with scratch-x. Then go over it with a cleaner wax.

3)Restored turn signals and lenses:

Remove your turn signal lenses and polish them with the plast-x, makes a huge difference. If they're broken get some that aren't. Pull the bulbs out of the holders, mask the opening and around the turn signal assemblies and re-paint them silver. Polish the rear lenses as well.

4)Many glass polishes exist and work well, your car is almost half glass, shiny glass is almost as important as shiny paint.

5)Mask the top of the rocker panels and repaint them black- or body color. clean them with brake clean first.

6)if your chrome looks dumb, scuff it with 300 grit sandpaper and paint it black. many thin coats.

7)pull the wheels and paint your wheel wells black or undercoat them. I see many clean cars with poop-brown fender wells.

8)refinish your wheels or buy new ones. Wheels often make the car- give them priority as such.

8)repaint those faded mirrors.

9)repaint anything that's faded. Back to black and all of that stuff is a waste of time except on tires, which must be BLACK. Again, learn the difference between waht WAS black and what actually IS black.

10)keep your dash clean, it's very visible from outside the car. Swapping a clean black dash into my car replaceing a faded tan one made a real change. You can paint dashes but use an product like Krylon's "Colors in Plastic", or something made for plastic finishes.

11)clean your muffler and and visible undercarriage stuff. Again, clean car with a rusty, muddy muffler looks weak.

12)Buy some toothbrushes and a paint brush (cut the bristles shorter on the paintbrush) to wash in tight spots. The also work well to remove wax around emblems.

13)Consider debadging. Volvo's have very simple lines, removing such paraphenalia often give the car a cleaner look.

14)lower the car, especially the front.

15)tint usually helps.

16)repaint your nasty winsheild wiper arms.

That's about it for now...
Clean polished paint, clean polished glass, clean polished light lenses, no faded stuff, no muddy stuff.

[Rust Reaper]

Originally Posted by Green Death

I agree that a clean car says a LOT. Go to the library and take out some books on auto detailing. Read them and learn to be anal about your car.
Did you open the gas door and clean all inside there last time you washed your car?

Lol, thats why you get all the queries about whether you live in your car or not....cause its so clean!

[Captain Bondo]

lmfao. Ya, inside is another story...lol

[Doomsday2024]

HAHA, I just have the IAM1337 License plate # Easiest way to tell it's not my mom's

[Hank Scorpio]

Tip for sidemarkers:


I painted mine with semi-gloss, I think it looks GREAT and doesn't hurt the light output at all.

Tips for pissing higher end cars off into racing:
1. Side exit exhaust, one muffler
2. Rev Limiter. Hit that **** next to their window, once they realize they aren't being shot at (yes its that insanely loud) and realize that is flame being spit from the side of a lowely vovo they will be much more intrested in racing.
3. Bang 2nd gear next to them, spin and hold the car against the limiter (for increased effect of number 2) into 3rd.

If that doesn't work.. you probably scared em off ;)

[davidmacq]

On the second question why would you not want this. I got a ticket I have yet to pay, gonna cost me about 175 or something. Having a sleeper type car is more important to me. Tint is essential, and nice 'factory' wheels too.

I don't want people thinking I'm some young punk. If I'm not getting noticed I am happy. Don't worry about what people think about you on the road so much.

I think calling stuff ricer is stupid, but yes lots of hondas look like crap. I have also seen some volvos looking kinda silly from people wanting attention as well.

Best thing about a volvo is the respect you get from cops. Respect that the drivers probably are responsible drivers.

[richbonilla]

thats an interesting comment....i think i would have to agree on this one....although i never thought of it that way....

Originally Posted by davidmacq

Best thing about a volvo is the respect you get from cops. Respect that the drivers probably are responsible drivers.

[Volvo4Life]

this is not completely accurate in terms of a clean volvo.. i've more than enough enticed races with cars way out of my league by just mocking them, due to shot suspension when i downshift into second and proceed to bang it my car flexes like crazy.. as said by a friend in another car it looks like i have mad amount of acceleration... i've actually intimidated a gt stang which should just annhilate me in a race to not race me at a light.. we both pulled up to the light and he slows down like 50 feet back before the light so he woudlnt' line it up with me.. then as he comes up to the line i just sit there smoking the tires.. he dropped the clutch and lit up the tires then took off as i was still sitting there... needless to say after we were done roaring with laughter he was a good mile away.. lol

[Tilstar]

Having a screamer pipe bolted on to the external wastegate is fun.

You pull up between an imprezza and RX8 at the lights. ease it off the line and wait for it to come to 12psi, the screamer pipe roars a battle cry like some cut viking berzerker and the passenger in the WRX knocks his baseball cap off cause he's got his nose glued to the window, trying to figure out what the **** is going on. hehehe priceless.

It does however tend to scare non turboed cars into submission....phsyc out. got milk??

T.
P.S. I do not partake in, or encourage street racing.......

[MistrThou]

I think the best way to get people to challenge you at a light is to get business decals or signs. When I delivered pizzas, I had a topper on my car and was in uniform. Needless to say everyone tried to race me. Also needless to day, I beat a lot of them with my stock wagon. The greatest thing about pizza delivery is police accept the fact you're trying to make an extra buck. Many many ricers couldn't believe that the "Turbo" on the back of my car actually meant turbocharged...

PS Street racing, however I disapprove of. Accelerating to the speed limit as quick as possible, however, by no means violates the law .

[Tilstar]

Originally Posted by MistrThou

I think the best way to get people to challenge you at a light is to get business decals or signs. When I delivered pizzas, I had a topper on my car and was in uniform. Needless to say everyone tried to race me. Also needless to day, I beat a lot of them with my stock wagon. The greatest thing about pizza delivery is police accept the fact you're trying to make an extra buck. Many many ricers couldn't believe that the "Turbo" on the back of my car actually meant turbocharged...

PS Street racing, however I disapprove of. Accelerating to the speed limit as quick as possible, however, by no means violates the law .

Nice work. Sponsorship decals Yeah!!!

[spongemonster]

Have a 16 valve that looks hotter than it is and has that high pitched whine that everyone thinks is a supercharger. Somehow a bunch of a kids at a car show started calling my car the rice killer lol. Oh yeah have stock suspension and a 4.10 with a stick in a 16 valve. It barks the tires very hard shifting to second and the front end lifts about 4 inches at least. It scares people lol. Oh yeah have the baffles open in your free flow exhaust and down shift through the gears to a light. Gets all sorts of cars worked up.
James

[740Weapon]

doug is right. how to get someone to try at a stop light. 1. learn to love the limiter. hold it their for 5 seconds at a light and they will either 1. try or 2. be to affraid to try. 2. break stand. burn rubber till they cant breath. 3. actual verbal insults or requests for them to try like hell to beat you when it turns green. ironically only number 2 works for me. 1 and 3 freak people out to much and they get affraid of how much i'm going to embarras them.

ps i painted stripes down my hood as a last, classless resort to not have an average looking beat up volvo. now i have an abomination of a beat up volvo.

[Turbo944]

[QUOTE=Snoop Dougy Doug]
2. Rev Limiter. Hit that **** next to their window, once they realize they aren't being shot at (yes its that insanely loud) and realize that is flame being spit from the side of a lowely vovo they will be much more intrested in racing.
QUOTE
When at the light your refering to the rev limiter in neutral right...?

[740Weapon]

doug is refering to with the clutch in. i am refering to in neutral, or if you get a sudden hate of your tires. hit the limiter in gear while doing a brake stand. ive done it. ITS AWESOME. the most testosterone (sp) a 4 cyl can create.

[Turbo944]

Alright, thanks for the clarification...and I'll be sure to try it

[Turbo944]

Originally Posted by 740Weapon

doug is refering to with the clutch in. i am refering to in neutral, or if you get a sudden hate of your tires. hit the limiter in gear while doing a brake stand. ive done it. ITS AWESOME. the most testosterone (sp) a 4 cyl can create.

Wow, thats fun! And, yes, it is the most testosterone a 4 banger can make!

[HansW]

Like that===
Older Volvo's over here have the image of pensioners cars. You can drive them with your hat on. And of course, being incredibly slow.
So -- its fun with the turbo to pull away from theToyotas and hondas, even though they make a lot of noise.
hans from ireland

[MistrThou]

Another item I found, especially on a hill or mountain climb. When coming up on a honda, or toyota, and you know they've already downshifted to try and get up the hill, slow down to their speed, then stomp on it. That prooves you got go-power. On this 3 lane hill back home, I was driving my Volvo at 55 or so, and this Honda pulled out to the right of me. I knew the guy had it WOT. So I decelerated to his speed, hit the gas to keep up to his up-hill "acceleration" then mashed it to the floor and went sailing away. He was dumbfounded. (Note: I had a pizza topper on.)

[740Weapon]

or try this: build up your volvo but like a red neck longing for his long lost v8 keep the T cam and stock (under)sized turbo. and floor it at 25 mph in first and watch the tires break free next to whoever you want to horrify. it doesnt even matter that your top end sucks. they know they are owned.

[Benjam83]

can I put a gun-rack with a confederate flag in the back too? Ooooo, 6ft antenna whips!!! leave the windows rolled down so you can get in and out like in Dukes of Hazard!!! Yeah! Awesome!!!

lol

As far as keeping a car clean. I cant help but go with this. I love a clean car. I love it when my car is clean. I actually have a better day, knowing my **** is flossin. Little tips that I've noticed, The shiniest parts on the car should be the hood, trunk, and the fenders. The hood and the trunk are the easiest place for people to see their reflections, and it looks freakin sweet. The fanders have that little lip to cover the tire, if that is just rediculously shiney, the contrast of the reflections bending on that area makes it look tits. I;m not saying the whole car shouldn't be shiney, but after I wash and wax it, I'm sure to hit these places with the Eagle One Wipe n Shine.

Also, instead of tooth brushes and paint brushes for cleaning the interior, I hijacked one of my girlfriend's makeup brushes. It's a big fat one. ?The bristles are so soft and they get into little cracks sooooo easily and will surprisingly pull out anything. I was tired of polishing out the little scratches in my cd player faceplate. these don't scratch it at all.

Oh and Meguires tech Wax. That's the best stuff I've ever used. It's easy to take off and makes everything like glass, and water beads up for quite a while afterwards.

cheers

[Turbo944]

Originally Posted by 740Weapon

or try this: build up your volvo but like a red neck longing for his long lost v8 keep the T cam and stock (under)sized turbo. and floor it at 25 mph in first and watch the tires break free next to whoever you want to horrify. it doesnt even matter that your top end sucks. they know they are owned.

Do the tires really break free at this speed? I've never tried that, and Its been raining the past few days in Seattle, so I would spin them anyway.

[lammmy]

Originally Posted by MistrThou

Another item I found, especially on a hill or mountain climb. When coming up on a honda, or toyota, and you know they've already downshifted to try and get up the hill, slow down to their speed, then stomp on it. That prooves you got go-power. On this 3 lane hill back home, I was driving my Volvo at 55 or so, and this Honda pulled out to the right of me. I knew the guy had it WOT. So I decelerated to his speed, hit the gas to keep up to his up-hill "acceleration" then mashed it to the floor and went sailing away. He was dumbfounded. (Note: I had a pizza topper on.)

I know I am bringing this thread back from the dead, but I was bored and just about to post this same thing. On the drive from Kelowna to Vernon, there are tons of huge hills. Almost every time, I get a VW of some sort trying to beat me there...its fun to toy with them and let them catch up, and right as they look over with a huge grin, you floor it and leave them so far behind you can actually see the glint from their tears in the rear-view mirror....grin successfully wiped from their face.

[745 TurboGreasel]

You want them to know?

TUB IT

They will know.